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Title: Fred Clause
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If all the political talk about how it’s offensive to say “Merry Christmas” in public hasn’t killed your Christmas spirit yet, then chances are “Fred Clause” certainly will. In a world where finding an original movie is as easy as finding a Big Mac that looks like the picture, “Fred Clause” comes off as a major disappointment. At first we’re happy because we’ve found an original idea, much like we’ve just found the perfect Big Mac. And like the Big Mac, the idea looks tasty. Then you bite into it and...yep, I think you know where I’m going with this. Oh, but it’s Christmas, I shouldn’t start off my review so negatively like that. After all, there are a few little stocking suffers in this movie that are nice.
After all, we have Vince Vaughn playing Fred Clause, the older (but overshadowed) brother to old Saint Nick, a man who pales so much in comparison to his brother that while Nick goes into the toy making business, Fred goes into the repossession business. That basically means that, you know, anything Santa gives you can be repossessed by his big brother Fred, which is an interesting dilemma now that I think about it. Santa is played by Paul Giamatti, who ends up looking a lot like Paul Giamatti in a Santa suit. Aside from hiring actors whose faces are basically common knowledge at this point (thus showing that Hollywood doesn’t want to make a Santa movie where we see nobody but Santa) another odd change comes with Mrs. Annette Clause, played by Miranda Richardson.
Here’s the thing though; I have a picture of Mrs. Clause in my head. I see her as a short old woman with grey hair, apron, red kitchen cap, and smelling like cookies. This Mrs. Clause though looks to be in her mid-forties, with red hair, and is a constant nag. Is it fair to play around with the classic mythos too much? I watched “Fred Clause” and could just see Christmas crumbling before me. I saw an actor playing Santa instead of being Santa, and playing him with a sarcastic snare at that. I saw a Mrs. Clause that ruined all my warm childhood images. I saw a five foot tall female elf wearing a cleavage bearing shirt, wondering how on Earth she managed to stay warm. Then, as if it couldn’t get worse, Academy Award winner Kevin Spacey shows up to audit Santa Clause.
For whom I’m not sure, but to present the idea that Santa could have his operations shut down by someone else seems to contradict the idea that he’s in control of his own job. Look, I appreciate that directors want to put their own stamp of approval on the legend of Santa Clause, but how much do we alter before the illusion of a Santa is lost, and the kids start disbelieving almost instantly? The world has enough confusion in it to have to worry about which version of Santa Clause is the “correct” version. Oh yeah, I forget about Fred. Well, let’s just put it this way: “Fred Clause” the movie got on my nerves, and Fred himself got on them even sooner.
- -Review By Kevin T. Rodriguez- -